The Diaper Diaries

but hopefully not full of crap

The High Price of gas December 3, 2007

Filed under: Random Life Moments — thediaperdiaries @ 9:44 pm

fart1.jpg Our family might tend to be a bit on the gassy side. That might also be a tad on the understatement side.

Let me start with my hubby, who reigns supreme in this area. I truly have never met another human being with his “gifts” ( that’s what he thinks they are). I was made aware of this problem early on when we were dating. You see, we lived in the same apartment building when we met so that led to a greater than usual time spent together in early dating. One night he confessed to me that he had been going home every night with horrible stomach cramps because he had been holding in his gas. I told him it was no big deal and he could let one rip. Biggest mistake of my life.

I should have known it might be a problem when he began to introduce me to his friends. Nearly every one of them asked me, as one of their first questions mind you, if I knew about his gas. I should have been very scared, but love is blind (and apparently has lost all sense of smell.

Then came the actions. What you say? The actions. Like the gunfire he mimed while letting one rip. Or the one where the fart propelled him across the room. There was drumming, dancing, God only knows what else (I have blocked it out). Somehow he wooed me despite his theatrics.

Now, I will not claim to be gas free. I can hold my own with the best of them. I truly don’t understand these women who say they don’t pass gas in front of their spouse. To me that is just part of the “worse” in the better or worse vows. Plus it seems to me that would make for some very painful marital years.

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that my daughters think “tooting” as we call it is something to be celebrated. Even little Hannah, at age 1, giggles her little head off whenever she happens to let out a little toot. Lily will let one go in the most un-ladylike way. I try and reprimand, but that is very hard to do while giggling right along with her. Why is it this behavior brings out the 4 year old in me too?

This post truly has no point whatsoever except to embarrass all members of my family (including me) and scar them for life. I am fresh out of witty and appropriate topics so this is what I am left with. If my readership plummets after today, I will fully understand. Tomorrow, I will be back to my prim and proper self (at which point all who know me burst into inappropriate laughter).

 

10 Responses to “The High Price of gas”

  1. Krista Says:

    Okay, I have a dilemma here. See, in my house growing up farts were perfect fodder for laughter. My mom is notorious for not knowing when they’re coming and having them at the most inopportune times. So I think they’re usually funny (as well as had burping contests with my dad).
    Now I am married to Mr. Straight guy when it comes to bodily functions. That’s not to say he doesn’t have them (he seriously does!) but he is almost offended when I think it’s funny. But how can you not think it’s funny when he always leans to the side to let one loose?
    We now have a small son and he also of course lets them rip once in awhile. I find this hilarious. Hubby does not. How am I going to teach my children not to think it’s funny so they don’t offend daddy? (and he’s not all that prim and proper altogether)
    Weird!

  2. georgiamom Says:

    Geez, remind me to wear a gas mask next you invite me over to tea (not that you would because we haven’t met, but you get my point). That’s too funny! I have to admit that we have about the most gasless house of anyone I know. My husband rarely passes any, I’m not a big passer and when my kids do we just laugh a little, they say excuse me and we move on. We call it pootytooting (not sure if I spelled that correctly). Now, belching on the other hand, I can belch anyone under the table, but I do have a stomach condition that is currently controlled with medication. Praise God for the medication. I’m not a fan of belching. So, there you have it. That’s what life is like at Georgia Mom’s!

  3. Candace Says:

    I can’t understand people that don’t pass gas in front of their spouse. That’s just crazy!

    I can see your girls years from now when they’re teenagers and they see this post- “Geez mom- really.. gas???!!!”

  4. SAHMmy Says Says:

    My husband and I do our best to keep the gas-passing where it belongs: in the bathroom, door closed. But during my pregnancies all bets were off! My husband even taught my son to say “Mommy’s a Stinky Farter!” I do laugh along with my son when he “toots”–he is a boy after all–I want him to revel in all the nasty habits boys get a kick out of and not be a prissy-pants just because Mommy thinks something is gross :)

  5. Holy smokes! That was funny! Way too real… but funny!

  6. Heather Says:

    Oh my goodness!! Were you looking in my window? I always had a rule when dating – the 6 month rule. Too bad I was the one who broke that rule with Hubby!

  7. Marie Says:

    When my husband does it, no matter how bad it is, I don’t say anything. But when I do it, OMG he acts like the house was juts invaded by a herd of rabid skunks, even though his are MUCH worse, believe you me. And he thinks the pull-my-finger thing is soooo funny.

  8. M Says:

    Yes, all these posts are funny but imagine you are a high school teacher when a student breaks wind. You got it! I was teaching seniors and giving them a quiz. The whole room was silent and the class clown let one rip. The whole class broke out into uncontrollable laughter as I stood at the front of the room giving this kids the death look. I kicked him out of class and wrote him up for classroom disturbance (it literally took the kids 15 minutes to settle down–and these kids were seniors!) His mom called and tried to protest it saying it was an accident. When she heard that he actually lifted up his behind and leaned to the side, she knew he was in the wrong. Funny now, funny when I told my husband that night but not funny when you are in control of 17 and 18 year olds.

    BTW, when my kids gas, they say they burped in their pants. I think it is funny. And they do say excuse me.

  9. jubilee Says:

    My sons only seems to pass gas at the dinner table. Why is that?
    The other night hubs was putting youngest son into bed and I heard the loudest issue-ance of gas ever. It was my four yer old daughter. In her sleep. Honestly, you just gotta laugh.
    I have a friend whose husband passes gas in bed and pulls the covers up over their heads to torture his wife. To me, that isn’t so funny. But there you have it.

  10. Jessey Says:

    I am laughing so hard, there are tears. My daughter asked me what was wrong, she thought I was crying. It was the machine gun that got me. In my house we have shot guns. (Chick-chick BOOM!) And I thought it was just us.


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