That’s an Odd Place to Keep Your Pickles June 22, 2008

   Remember this? Well, Miss Hannah has struck again. Yet, Lily keeps wanting to take baths with her. This time, I put them in the tub and then laid down outside the bathroom door with a delightful copy of Home magazine. I look up occasionally to make sure no one has drown and that most of the water is staying in the tub (no one had and it wasn’t).

Suddenly, Lily screams “Emergency!!” On a quick side note, she has been going to Safety Town for a week so we are experiencing an even larger flair for the dramatic. The two girls jump out of the tub. How Hannah managed to scale the edge, I have no idea, but it could be because she was 5 pounds lighter than she had been a few minutes before.

Lily somehow manages to emerge unscathed and begins breathlessly recalling how it all went down.

“Mom, Hannah and I were just playing and all of a sudden she just handed me a pickle…but then I realized it wasn’t a pickle and I jumped out.”

The hubby and I of course burst into laughter at the thought of Hannah somehow producing a Vlasic out of thin air while bathing. Lily catches onto the fact that she has somehow been funny and proceeds to repeat the pickle story over and over for the next 10 minutes. I shower off the kids in the other shower and the hubby (my knight in shining armor) is once again left with the fabulous task of fishing out the poo and cleaning out the tub. He is always there to get us out of a pickle 🙂

The Most Precious Of Times April 4, 2008

 Lily has been asking a lot of questions about heaven and angels lately. She has always loved angels, but lately, I think because of Easter, she has been asking a lot about what heaven is like. They are great conversations. Really scary, because I feel like  I must be so careful how I answer, wanting to get it right. But her little 4 year old brain amazes and challenges me in how it thinks of things and asks the tough questions. This was our conversation today.

Lily: Mommy, don’t ever leave me.

Me: Of course I won’t.

Lily: No, I mean when you go to heaven. Don’t leave me.

Me: Sweety, mommy isn’t going to heaven for a long time. Not until I am very old (I pray) and you are old and are a mommy yourself (I pray).

Lily: I know, but when you are old and you go, do you think I could wrap my arms around your neck really tight like this (and she demonstrates)? Do you think if I did, you could take me up there with you?

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but at that moment…I never wanted her to let go.

She Obviously Hasn’t Been Around a Nursing Woman March 29, 2008

 I saw this story on the news last night and just felt the need to share it with the world (or the 3 of you who read my blog). As a cautionary tale if you will. I particularly love Gloria Allred’s (seriously this woman will take any and every “offended woman” case) quote at the end. How she said that with a straight face, I will never know.

Second Verse Same as the First March 24, 2008

 Hannah is sick again. She started acting weird yesterday afternoon and soon she was sporting flushed cheeks and a warm forehead. Then while the hubby and I were catching up on a DVR’d Survivor, we started to hear odd noises through the monitor (how did people parent before these things were invented?). By the time midnight rolled around her fever was 102 and she threw up. We changed sheets and clothes, gave her some Motrin and hoped for the best. Needless to say, it was a really long night.

And then today…was a really long day. There is something really sweet about having a sick kid. They get really cuddly and curl up with you on the couch and fall asleep on your chest. Then there is the not so sweet. The whining, the clinging, did I mention the whining. That bad thing about having a sick kid (besides the constant fear that you will catch whatever they have) is that your other kid gets totally neglected.

Lily spent the day watching too much TV, begging mommy to please play with her and trying to stay out my “way too short on sleep” path. At the end of the day, when the hubby got home to give me some relief, I pulled Lily over and snuggled her a bit (probably infecting her in the process).

“Mommy is really sorry I didn’t get to pay you much attention today.”

“That’s OK Mommy, I paid attention to myself.”

Brainwashing of the dangerous kind February 25, 2008

 They say children’s minds are like sponges. Lily’s absorbs information at an alarming rate and she has the memory of an elephant (what the heck does that mean??).

So, today as I’m reading a news magazine, Lily comes over and looks over my shoulder. It was an article about how Obama and Clinton are in a tight race and had pictures of both candidates. She said to me, “Which one is running for President?” Ok, why she even knows this indicates we may be following politics a little too closely around here. Anyway, I told her both of them and asked her who she liked better. She pointed to Hillary and said, “I like her. Her outfit is pretty and I just really like the way God made her. But Daddy says she doesn’t have very good ideas.” So wise already at 4…

Then, every night when we put Lily to bed there comes a point where we tell her no more talking. More nights than not, this takes a few reminders (I have no idea where she gets this annoying trait of not knowing when to shut her mouth). But often times in these quiet moments, I get a little window into her soul when she says something in a whisper right before she falls asleep. Tonight, it was this:

Lily: “Mom, what would happen if all the hockey players on the ice got put in the penalty box all at one time and there was no one left on the ice to score? Could that really happen?”

Tonight her soul told me that the hubby’s brainwashing goes far beyond political (which honestly is just the healthy Republican kind) and has crossed over into the dangerous, threatening realm of hockey. Seriously, I can’t take it if I have one more hockey obsessed person in this house. The season is like 10 years long. So I have decided I will start brainwashing her my own way. You know in the movies when they brainwash people and they strap them to chairs and hold there eyelids open while they show them images. It will be like that, but with music and dancing. Oh yes, I will brainwash my daughter to love a good musical. She loves singing, she loves dancing…all the basic building blocks are there. So next time when the hubby asks her to watch a hockey game, she will look up at him with that face he can’t resist and say, “Daddy, can we please do West Side Story instead?”

Evil cackle followed by maniacal laughter.

This Moment Brought to you by al gore February 18, 2008

 Lily: Mom, how do you make frosting?

Me: Well, you basically mix together milk, sugar and butter

Lily: Well, I want to make some frosting tomorrow

Me: Um, we’ll have to see, we have quite a busy day tomorrow (translation- No, I do not need more sugary crap around our house)

Lily: Mom, tonight while I sleep can you go to how to make frosting dot com (howtomakefrosting.com) and print out the directions for me.

Does this frighten anyone else?

*oddly enough someone in Utah appears to own the domain howtomakefrosting.com. I suspect they are the parent of a 4 year old. In case you are curious, there is nothing at that website, least of all directions on how to make frosting.

I think that might be a B+ February 9, 2008

 A conversation with Lily:

Lily: Mom, there is a kid in my Sunday school whose mom is our teacher

Me: Really, do you like that? Would you like me to be your teacher?

Lily: Yeah, how come you aren’t?

Me: Well because mommy leads worship when you are in Sunday school

Lily: Well what about the other day I have Sunday school (referring to Tuesdays when she is in childcare for MOPS).

Me: Well, mommy is in MOPS and that is important. That’s where I learn to be a better mommy. Do you think I am a good mommy?

Lily: Yeah, really good…pretty good…you should keep taking those classes.

Things I Love Thursday (and some other things, not so much) January 16, 2008

 I am going to do another product review today, but since I wasn’t thrilled with the product I wanted to live up to the “Things I Love” title and give you a quick run down of those first.

1. The Things That Come Out Of Lily’s Mouth: As I was getting dressed to go work out at the gym Lily hit me with these words of wisdom: “Mom, if you go to the gym and someone thinks your clothes aren’t pretty, it really isn’t your clothes, it’s your ponytail.” Thank you for that self-esteem boost little miss fashionista.
2. American Idol Auditions:I know some people think these are cruel, but who are these people and why do they think they can sing? I think Simon has been very restrained so far, even borderline kind. My favorite moment so far was when an Egyptian-American young man spoke these words: “I want to find a woman who I can love from her hair all the way to her…(pause while searching for just the right word)…nipples.” Look for that on a Hallmark card anyday now.
3. Apparently germs, dirt and bugs.
4. Playing Oregon Trail on Facebook: Do you people remember this game? Oh the fond memories from my Apple IIE. I just finished the trail and only lost 2 members of my team. Sadly, one of them was my husband who the team apparently sacrificed due to bad odor. I always suspected that might be how he meets his demise.

Onto, the product review. A while ago, I reviewed a great lotion called Skin MD. The same people who sent me that, sent me another lotion called Gloves in a Bottle. The premise is that when you use lotions, they come off when you wash your hands or touch things. This product instead bonds with the outer layer of skin making your skin a “glove” to outside irritants.

Here is the good. You need very little lotion to achieve a moisturizing affect. It is hypoallergenic, fragrance and color free which is great for sensitive skin. Here is the problem. Apparently I want fragrance in my lotion. Cause fragrance free seems to equal smells like glue. I also wasn’t thrilled with the way it made my hands feel tacky. I think that is the glove forming, but I didn’t really like it. Maybe this would be great if your worked in a field where you had to do a lot of handwashing or touching drying agents (or working with glue), but for your average joe, I didn’t really dig it. I liked Skin MD much better.

Now, I will say the website claims you can put it on irritated skin, rashes and eczema and it will help the skin heal by protecting it. I don’t have any of those issues, but if you do it might be worth checking out. You could also check it out if you have a problem sniffing glue as this might get you off the stuff (guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue-Airplane, anyone…?). Again, the website is over here for more information.

Queen of her domain January 12, 2008

 Lily has become quite the Huckabee fan. We do not believe in political brainwashing (well, maybe a little), but she has heard us talking about him and has decided she is onboard for Huckabee in ’08. Today the hubby and I went to a rally and she begged to go with. She clapped and cheered and held her sign high. Her face lit up when he got up to play bass with the band (cause he is a rock star too).

I loved the conversation that took place on the way home. We were trying to explain the importance of voting and how a president is elected. Lily said that only boys could be president. I got on my soapbox and started to preach that girls can be anything they want even president (just not some girls/women-ahem). Lily said girls aren’t presidents, they are queens. And when she grows up, she wants to be queen of the city. And wear a crown. I agree, that beats president anyday.

I thought you would also enjoy a view of her nightstand which she insisted on decorating herself today. Oh, she makes her daddy proud. And I think it represents her two latest political ambitions perfectly.

What I want to be when I grow up January 7, 2008

 We are still celebrating Christmas around here. I have taken down the decorations, but the presents continue. My brother and his wife are coming in this weekend to draw the season to a close. Sunday, we celebrated with the hubby’s mom. She has started a tradition of taking Lily with her to shop for presents. You just never know what she is going to pick.

This year, she could not stop talking about how she had picked out a Hannah Montana guitar. Actually this was how the conversation went on Saturday after shopping

Lily: Mimi says what I picked out should be a surprise.

Mom and Dad: Well, then you probably shouldn’t tell us. We will just find out tomorrow when you open your present.

Lily: Well, if you guessed it wouldn’t be me telling you.

Mom and Dad: That’s OK sweetie, we will just wait until tomorrow.

Lily: No, guess

Mom and Dad: I don’t know a Barbie, a game, something Disney princess?

Lily: No, it’s a musical instrument.

Mom and Dad: A piano

Lily: No, it has strings.

How’s that for keeping it a surprise? She says, “It’s a Hannah Montana guitar!” Now I am getting a little nervous because I realize I may be the only person on earth, but I am not that familiar with Hannah Montana (I missed that Oprah). All I know is that she is loved by teens and tweens. Although Lily is 4 going on 13, she is only 4. So I am not sure I want her loving a tween superstar. As the night goes on, she can’t stop talking about this thing. She even thanks God for it during her prayers. At this point, she doesn’t even own the thing yet!

So we head over to Mimi’s for Christmas and I finally set eyes on this toy. It is a guitar that plays Hannah Montana songs and has a microphone that attaches to it so you can string along. The guitar even has a strap for full effect. So I have been listening to Hannah Montana songs for 2 days now. I must admit, they are pretty catchy. And Lily doesn’t really care about the actual Hannah Montana. I did discover after watching my DVR’d Oprah that she is actually quality teen star (which I pray continues in this sad, sad, Britney world). Either way, Lily doesn’t want to be Hannah Montana.

Oh no, Lily told me today, she wants to be a rockstar when she grows up. Me too sweetie, me too.