I took Lily to see a ballet yesterday. A local dance company was putting on “Sleeping Beauty.” Lily got dressed up in her Disney princess ball gown and we enjoyed a great mother-daughter outing. Now this particular company is made up of high school students and younger so this isn’t the fanciest dancing ever, but it is really well done. Lily could frankly care less. She is watching girls in fancy costumes twirl around. Everything was fabulous until the third act.
Now, let me digress for a moment. I am well aware that ballet has a long, long tradition of clothing men in tights. It must make the men more aerodynamic or something. Usually, I find this is tastefully done. Well, in Sleeping Beauty, as you can see from the picture above, there is a wedding scene where Aurora and her prince are both dressed in white. Maybe you can see where this is going.
I think it is safe to say that white tights leave little to the imagination. Very little. I kept waiting for Lily to lean over and ask me some sort of question about what she was looking at. Thank God she is still too young to notice such things. I, however, had trouble noticing much else. It’s not like I am some sort of pervert. It’s just that it is like some sort of car accident. You know you should look away. You want to look away. But your eyes just won’t look away.
I am telling you, if Disney put these tights in their movie, it would warrant a R rating. And Aurora might keep looking for a new prince. There is just nothing sexy about a man in tights that are way too tight.