The Diaper Diaries

but hopefully not full of crap

A Grateful Heart November 10, 2007

Filed under: Motherhood — thediaperdiaries @ 10:34 pm

mother_and_daughters.gif  I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. I am not sure if I always loved children, but I have as far back as my memory serves. I even worked with children before I had my own, “mothering” other people’s kids for a living. The first moment I held my first daughter in my arms, I felt like I was home.

Then all the euphoria wore off and the panic set in. My mom had come to stay with us after we had Lily, and I can still vividly remember taking Mom to get on a plane to go back home. I practically wrapped my arms around her legs and begged her to stay. How would I possibly do this by myself? Who in their right mind let me leave the hospital with this precious child thinking that I possibly knew what I was doing? But I managed to figure out what I was doing, and in those moments when I didn’t, we got through.

What has never changed since that first moment is the intensity of the love I felt for this amazing little being cradled in my arms. It is incomparable to any other love on Earth. I love and adore my husband, but there is something different about the love I feel for him. It is not so protective or so fierce (yet it isn’t any less, just different). What’s amazing is that incomparable feeling isn’t any less intense with Hannah. What’s even more amazing is that being their mom is better than I ever thought it would be.

So, why am I grateful for my children? I am grateful because everyday they allow me to fulfill my dream of being a mom. It is the most wonderful, terrifying, frustrating, exhausting, joyful, humorous, humbling job I could ever ask for. And everyday I am challenged to be not only a better mom, but a better person. They challenge me to be more patient, kind, humble, forgiving, creative, and even more childlike. When I look at this list, I am struck by something. Although some days it is definitely not the case, in our best moments my kids help me become the mom, the woman, and the person that God wants me to be. For that, I am eternally grateful.

This post was written as part of MamaBlogga’s November Group Writing Project.

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14 Responses to “A Grateful Heart”

  1. Elaine Says:

    “in our best moments my kids help me become the mom, the woman, and the person that God wants me to be. ” …ditto.

  2. Candace Says:

    It always amazes me that even as you have more children your love for the others never diminishes. Your heart just increases. Beautiful post :).

  3. jubilee Says:

    I honestly wondered how I was going to love our second child as much as I loved our first (when I was pregnant with her). And then she was born and the magic happened. Isn’t it amazing how God designed the love to multiply with each child without taking away from the others?
    Great post.

  4. M Says:

    J,

    This was a really nice blog entry you wrote about your daughters. Being a mother is the most important job to have. We are responsible for so much in raising our children to be decent, moral, loving people. A lot of pressure. I just hope that I can do a good of a job as my parents did with my sister, brothers and me.

    I have been reading this other blog and came across a family that is trying to adopt a little boy. I know you have a lot of readers so if you have time and can read it and blog about it maybe you can pass the word on about this family. http://brentjodieadoption.blogspot.com/
    It is amazing what this wife and husband are trying to do to give this little boy a loving home. Take care and I’ll talk to you soon.

  5. Summer Says:

    “…in our best moments my kids help me become the mom, the woman, and the person that God wants me to be.”

    I love that line!

  6. SAHMmy Says Says:

    Beautiful, thoughtful article! I cannot imagine the selfish creature I would be today if my sweet babies hadn’t come along!

  7. I agree with Summer: I love the line “in our best moments my kids help me become the mom, the woman, and the person that God wants me to be. For that, I am eternally grateful.”

    Amen!!

    Thank you for participating!

  8. MomOnTheGo Says:

    I liked the way that you described the ferocity of mama-love. It was a surprise to me when I first held my daughter. I had recognized it growing as my pregnancy progressed but when my daughter was in the nursery with an iv in her arm, I was aware of the force of my protective love for her.

  9. CoCo Says:

    Amen–beautiful daughter of mine. I could have never taught this to you–it has to be experienced. What a blessing you are to me. What a blessing it is to have you as the mother of my grandchildren.

  10. phyllis Says:

    absolutely beautiful. and congrats on being the winner!

  11. tiffany Says:

    What a wonderful post!
    You captured that gratefullness so well.

  12. Grace Says:

    great post. Congrats for winning the Group Writing Project.


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