I am a major sucker for award shows. The stars, the gowns, the suspense, the silly musical numbers. The stupid writer’s strike has robbed me of some of the good ones this year and I was starting to get worried that the award show of all award shows was not going to happen. Thank God those crazy writers finally thought of someone other than themselves and settled the strike. We were dying around here!!!
Anyway, you have not watched an award show until you watch in on DVR. You get the stars, the canned humor, the gowns, and the worthwhile awards without the “other” awards. You know the sound editing, cinematography, make up awards. Now I am sure to someone’s mother, these are a majorly big deal. Or for the dude who struggled his way through film school to finally be recognized for his camera work. No offense dude, but nobody cares. Even if you were introduced by Halle Barry, nobody cares. Sorry, your mom cares. And Lily and Hannah if you go into costume design, your mommy and daddy will care.
But what the world really cares about is that Jessica Alba looks really cute pregnant. That Jon Stewart was really funny. That George Clooney’s girlfriend’s dress was kind of heinous (sorry to be catty, but you are dating one of the most attractive men in Hollywood and you should have a spectacular dress). That I hate Kerry Russell a little bit for being that skinny after having a baby not so long ago. That Jack Nicholson still gets a front row seat and wears those stupid sunglasses despite being in nothing worthwhile this year. That Katherine Heigel could seriously not be more beautiful or likable all at the same time.
Let me also be very clear, the last movie I saw in the theater was Veggie Tales. Before that Bee Movie. I am not exactly a connoisseur of fine film these days. I had not seen a single nominated film this year and hadn’t even heard of half of the nominated actors and actresses. So that is why I prefer an DVR’d Oscar quickie. Let’s just get down to business and get to the big awards and fast forward through all the other unnecessary stuff. Aah, good stuff.
P.S. If you are a DVR rookie, you should know the Oscars ALWAYS run over so you should always tape the show afterwards. Otherwise you will be sorely disappointed when midway through the presentation of best actor, your show cuts off. Thank God, I’m no rookie.