So one thing about living in the hood, is that our neighborhood was extremely ethnically diverse. In our building we had Phillipinos, Nigerians, African Americans, Hispanics, and people from the Caribbeans. So it was a nice little melting pot and I was exposed to a few different cultures. Like the woman from Nigeria who would wear shorts in her apartment in the winter and then jack the heat up to 86 degrees. Since heat was included in our assessment this wouldn’t really pose a problem except that we lived above her and heat rises. Meaning our condo would begin to bake and I would have to crack the windows in the dead of winter. How energy efficient!
The most interesting exchange happened shortly after we put out condo on the market. I was staying home full time, so it was just Lily and I in the apartment. I walked by the front window and noticed a woman and her two children out in our front courtyard. This was unusual because we lived on a one way dead end street (no I am not kidding) so no one really was ever out in front of the condo. In fact, you just never really saw people out and about in general unless they were walking in from their car.
Something about the behavior of this woman caused me to take notice. She and her children were walking in circles around the for sale sign and making odd gestures. I cracked the window and could hear some weird chanting going on. Let me just say this didn’t sound like the “I wish you nothing but blessings in the sale of your house” kind of chanting. Not that I am so familiar with that particular kind of chanting either. Anyway, this chanting was more of an angry kind. And I would hear her instruct her children to “walk around the sign 3 times and then turn toward the street and lift your hands.” Yeah, totally creepy.
So I called my husband at work and said in a calm and rational tone, “Honey, there is a woman outside the building putting some sort of voodoo hex on our house.” To which he replied…”What?!!” Then as I am talking to him, she begins to dig up some dirt next to the sign and throw it in the air while chanting and smearing on the sign. Man, you seriously couldn’t even make this stuff up. She ends by ripping off part of the For Sale sign and throwing over a fence that was next to the ravine across the street.
So at this point, I am majorly freaking out. I am praying that God would protect our house and dialing the police. That is a fantastically fun phone call to make by the way, “Um yes, officer, there is a crazy lady out front putting a voodoo hex on my house with her children.” At this point I look out the window so I can give the officer a proper description and at that moment she looks up into my window and our eyes lock. She screams, “What are you looking at profanity that could also describe a female dog.” Well, actually she used the exact word.
I am not going to lie to you. I dropped to the floor and crawled over to the door to make sure it was dead-bolted. I should also mention we had a locked door to get into the building, but I wasn’t taking any chances. The police are still on the phone and I am all like, “Oh my gosh, she saw me, SHE SAW ME!!!” Now 3 years later I am giggling while typing this, but my heart is still racing a little just thinking about it.
So the cops are coming, and I call the hubby and tell him he must come home immediately. He tells me he will be right there which would be great except this is Chicago and “right there” means he will be home in 45 minutes. So the cops show up, ask me some questions and then go trolling around the block looking for this woman. They find her in the back alley way in a garage and she tells them she doesn’t know what they are talking about.
The hubby gets home and we leave to go to CVS or something. I can’t remember. When we come back there are cop cars everywhere and they are hauling this woman off. Seems they found some suspicious things in her garage… I can’t remember the details. What I do remember is that she lived in the next building. And she knew exactly where I lived, where I parked, what car I drove. I was a bit freaked out.
The best part was that I had to call my realtor to tell her the sign had been damaged. We were literally moving that weekend. So I tell her, “Um yes, there was a crazy lady out front putting a voodoo hex on my house with her children.” “Just thought you should know in case she comes and tries to put a curse on the apartment.” Not sure if there is a place on the disclosure form for “lady put voodoo curse on our house.” Oh and by the way, the people up stairs have loud, crazy middle of the night sex. Oh and the lady down stairs likes to keep her apartment at 120 degrees in the winter which makes for a nice sauna in case you want to sweat off a little extra weight. It’s really amazing we ever sold that place. Man, surburbia is so boring.