The Diaper Diaries

but hopefully not full of crap

Apparently when donuts are involved, all bets are off April 11, 2008

Filed under: Random Life Moments — thediaperdiaries @ 8:53 pm

 Well, we are back. Man, vacations are nice, but sometimes there really is no place like home. Cause we are tired of being in a car. And ready to eat something resembling a vegetable. Seriously, it is incredibly difficult to eat healthy when you are on the road. I know it is technically possible, but it seems like a lot of work and vacations are supposed to be relaxing sooo…unhealthy eating it is.

You know what happens when you eat unhealthy foods for 4 days straight? Your pants get horribly tight. But since you only packed one pair, they are nice and loose by the 4th day. So, you know what else happens when you eat badly for 4 days straight? Gas…bad gas. Not me of course, but the hubby. And we are trapped in the car with him…for 3 hours.

So Lily begins giggling (cause toots are funny when your 4…or 34) and calling her daddy a “stink machine.” While this is going on the hubby pulls into a Dunkin Donuts to grab a coffee (cause according to the hubby they have the best). Lily sees the Dunkin Donuts logo and immediately starts asking for donuts.

The hubby says, “I don’t think I can get a donut for somebody who says my toots are stinky.”

Lily promptly says, “Daddy, I was just kidding, your toots aren’t stinky at all.”

Then the hubby says, “Tell me they smell like roses”

Lily says, “Daddy, they smell just like roses.”

And with what was this little fabrication rewarded? A donut of course. Well, half a donut, cause we had to teach her lying was wrong.

In the interest of fairness I should note the following:

  1. As soon as the donut was eaten, Lily went back to calling her father a “stink bug.”
  2. It is possible that the effects of bad food may have affected other members of the family once they arrived home, but that family member shall remain nameless. Although she is pretty sure her gas does in fact smell like roses.

10 Responses to “Apparently when donuts are involved, all bets are off”

  1. I loved ‘we gave her half a donut because lying is wrong’! Cracked me up.

    I have had more than 1500 page views today, but most of them did not come from 5 Minutes for Mom. I mean there were some, but almost all the extra traffic was from Big Mama’s Fashion Fiesta. Amazing since I decided to post minutes before she put up Mr. Linky. I won’t miss it again!

    Oh and thanks.

  2. lifeafterbaby Says:

    I laughed so hard at this that I let one slip accidentally…then I laughed harder because farts are always funny. But we don’t use or let our kids use the “f” word, we call ’em “toot-toots”.

  3. marquita Says:

    This is the funniest! What a silly daddy.

  4. erin g Says:

    I think it’s hilarious that you only packed 1 pair of pants. sounds like something I would do!

  5. Heather Says:

    I think ANY change in your diet will lead to the “toots.” I once cut out sugar but replaced it with splenda, and boy, was I uncomfortable!!

  6. I have two comments. One, is there anything your husband eats that DOESN’T give him the ‘toots’? And two, yes, he is absolutely correct that DD has the best coffee.

  7. Shelly Says:

    I had to laugh at this. It is too funny! So typical of what a kid would do…

  8. adventuremom Says:


  9. M Says:

    Funny you only gave her half a donut for lying! Luckily she doesn’t know any better that her daddy led her into it. I would be demanding the other half or say Daddy should only have half a cup of coffee for lying too if he thinks men’s farts smell like roses! (More like dead ones that have been molding for weeks) Ha-ha. Sounds like you had fun!

  10. Heather Says:

    This has been the story of my life for the last 3 months – no veggies, donuts, and well, bodily functions that have nothing to do with roses.

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