The Diaper Diaries

but hopefully not full of crap

Ode To The Bikini June 20, 2008

Filed under: Fashion,Motherhood — thediaperdiaries @ 10:03 pm

    We had many good years together the bikini and I. Back when I was skinny I always wore one. I didn’t even think twice about it. My thighs knew no cottage cheese and my stomach was rock hard. My biggest concern was getting a top that helped me out a bit in the cleavage department. I rejoiced when Victoria Secret put out its Miracle Bra suit. I never stressed out about swimsuit season or under the harsh lights of a dressing room.

Looking back on those days…I hate that girl. She didn’t know what she had. She probably complained that a size small suit was too big. She didn’t understand that her bikini days were oh so numbered. She completely did not understand that creating cleavage is nothing compared to the miracle it would take to make a stomach stretched out after 2 kids look good without full coverage.

I dream of the day when the bikini and I might be reunited. Sometimes when I am doing my ab crunches at the gym I think to myself that it might be possible. Post kids, I moved on to the tankini, the bikini’s lamer, less popular sister. This year, I gave up the fight and bought a two piece which is the swimsuit equivalent to a retainer and a headgear. I am a couple of kids away from a full mumu.

Sometimes, I go to the pool and see women rocking the two piece with a kid on each hip. I would say that gives me hope, but instead I am just going to chose to assume they are some sort of nanny. Otherwise I would have to hate them. And that would be wrong (right?).

This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by BOCA for a chance to win $150 which I will probably spend on wine and chocolate because who am I kidding, my bikini days are sooo over.

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10 Responses to “Ode To The Bikini”

  1. I still wore a bikini post-bubbalu, although I wasn’t as shapely and fit as before!

  2. Heather Says:

    I’m with ya! I was looking through some old pix the other day at a friend’s house. We used to go to the lake together a lot and there I was in my bikini… *sigh* … oh well ….. enjoy the wine and chocolate that you’ll buy with your winnings 😉

  3. Kati Says:

    Hey, at least you aren’t in a maternity suit! I guess they think us preggers WANT a top that resembles a dress…..*sigh*..not that I enjoy bathing suit season normally, but to wear a maternity suit. If you want to make yourself feel better, look at how they made the pregnant models, well model, on motherhood.com…….who wants a picture of their rear in a suit at close up range?!?!

  4. erin g Says:

    I didn’t mind the maternity suit too much – just wore a regular tankini. I’m full-on wearing the mom suit now, too though. [sigh.]

  5. bigbinder Says:

    You better win, this is good stuff. And when you win, you better share your goodies with me.

  6. Jane Says:

    i still wear the bikini – if it works for the hubby, who cares about the rest . . . I do hate those women rocking the two piece, though. I admit it.

  7. jen Says:

    HA!! I am right there with you (not in a bikini anymore thanks to two kiddos!). Love the post.

  8. You took the words right out of my mouth! I was an athlete with rock hard abs, and I never dreamed that at 27 I would have this issue. But after two kids you just never know.

  9. I’ve never been in that feel comfortable in a bikini stage even though I haven’t had kids yet. Maybe someday 🙂

  10. SAHMmy Says Says:

    Still wear a bikini–not because I look good in one anymore, but because I don’t care if I look good anymore. Farewell, flat stomach and perky boobs…it was good while it lasted.


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