The Diaper Diaries

but hopefully not full of crap

I thought I was done dating June 29, 2008

Filed under: Marriage — thediaperdiaries @ 10:33 pm

  I spent a fair amount of time in the dating world before I met my hubby. Let me just be frank abou that. It stunk. And I don’t ever, ever want to go back. So imagine my delight when I discovered that once you get married you still have to date.

I am not talking about the marital advice to continue to “date” your spouse. That is fantastic advice and we try and do that a few times a month. No, that part is a cake walk. I am talking about the dating of other couples.

How hard can this be? You just want to find some other couples to hang out with. There are millions of couples running around so this should be easy. But the key is, all 4 people have to like each other. Do you know how many chances there are for this equation to go awry.

The hubby once had a good girl friend (not girlfriend, but friend who was a girl) who was dating this guy and we all went out for pizza. The hubby and his friend talked non stop while I was stuck talking to Mr. Personality. Actually he was Mr. Void of Personality. Seriously, this guy grunted one word answers the whole night and was about as fun as a root canal.

Then there have been the times where I have made great girlfriends and the hubbies get together and could not have less in common. The conversation stalls 2 minutes into the evening. Or even worse you hang out with people that you think you both like, but then when you try and go out on a “date” you find you really don’t like these people at all.

I just want to be clear to any of my friends reading this that you and your spouse are quite lovely people who we would love to hang out with anytime. In all seriousness, lately I have found that the biggest hurdle to dating couples is time. Everyone is busy with kids or life and suddenly hanging out with people who only live a suburb away is a big ordeal. Or maybe their dance card is full. They already have that “couple” to hang with and they are in a monogamous couple dating relationship.

We had a few of great couples back in Chicago. The ones you could call up at 5:30 and say “Come over for a last minute BBQ and bring the kids and a bottle of wine.” The ones you could vacation with and not worry about them seeing you in the morning with your stanky breath and crazy hair. The ones who you laugh so hard with over a game of Balderdash that soda comes out your nose.

Since we have moved to Michigan, we have met some great couples that we have really hit it off with. A few we have even thought briefly we could commit to. And then suddenly, they aren’t returning your phone calls right away. You sit by the phone and leave Friday night open, but nothing. Would it kill you to pick up a phone and call? I even shaved my legs!!

So anyway, the position is still open. Must like wine, a good BBQ, a lot of laughs and possibly even a board game or two. We are currently auditioning a few couples so get in on the dating scene while you can. I am ready to get off the market already.

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23 Responses to “I thought I was done dating”

  1. the lizness Says:

    I definitely get this post. I was married before, and my ex and I had a plethora of couples to date. So when he hit the road, I got custody of our friends. When I remarried, it was a whole new ballgame trying to incorporate my new (and AWESOME) husband into our couple dating world. But, it was worth the effort, he is a better friend to them anyways.

  2. I have been thinking about you guys a lot – losing my friend really shook me up in the “SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE IMPORTANT” category. I suppose we (my husband and I) have unintentionally been playing hard to get, although that wasn’t really the intent. Enough with the busy busy busy… if y’all will still have us we’d love to have a date.

  3. nicolerenae Says:

    I just subscribed to your blog yesterday…this is some good stuff! Anyways, we had a great time on our “date” with you and the hubby! We want to do it again sometime…seriously! We’ll make it happen!

  4. Krysty Says:

    Did they stop returning phone calls b/c they thought you’d judge their dish-washing preferences? LOL! It is a hard thing to find couples to click with…add kids and that adds a couple of more hurdles.

  5. lifeafterbaby Says:

    So hear you. We call them “auditions”. I’ll say to Dan, (large, dramatic sigh) “is it time to audition friends again?”. You guys wanna come read lines?

  6. Jessica Says:

    I so get this. I am nearing desperation for a couple good couple friends. Living “in a far country” – or the far side of it – is getting more lonely than I can bear.

  7. My hubby and I have this conversation anytime we move anywhere new- who are we going to be friends with. We have about four couples across the country that our are “couple friends” that we can do things with like go on vacations. We’ve been lucky to find at least one couple friend everywhere we move, but it’s pretty tough.

  8. Courtney Williams Says:

    Oh my gosh! So, once I finally get married, the dating does not stop?!?!? OH MY WORD!!!!

  9. sally Says:

    I think you’d like us, lots of hockey & christian music out of the hubby, and wine & chocolate out of me. We should go out.

  10. Sarah Says:

    I’m glad to know that my husband and I aren’t the only ones on the singles scene, we moved two years ago and are still trying to find friends to hang out with. It’s complicated by trying to balance family (extended) and church. I think what makes it worse is when you’ve had the kind of friends you discribed who you can do anything with. to then move and not have that anymore is tough.

    The search continues….

  11. Kaye Says:

    I have had the same trouble since we moved. It’s hard to find someone that everyone gets along with…especially when my hubby and I are social-polar-opposites. We just have to try and hope to find a couple like us so at least one of us has someone to hang out with on each double date! =)

  12. Andrea Says:

    Hilarious! Sad, but true! And the thing is, we are so likable so what’s wrong with everyone else?

  13. Candace (Mama Mia) Says:

    If you guys are ever down south give us a call :). You’re right- it is hard to find another couple that you’re both compatible with. We’re so blessed to have a few go-to couples right now.

  14. Auntie S Says:

    This is SO true. I thought maybe it was just us. It is really hard to find a couple that we both enjoy. However, in the past year we have been getting together occassionally with 2 couples that we both enjoy. So, don’t give up. If we lived closer to you, we would audition to be your date!

  15. Heather Says:

    We love you guys! But I hear the difficulty. We will bring the wine, just give us a date!

  16. Paige Says:

    So sorry. We have too many friends, and we’d love to get together with all of them, but who has the time. We tend to do big barbeques wtih three or four families, and the kids run around and the couples talk.

    You’re welcome over anytime. Only we don’t drink, so you’d have to settle for diet coke.

  17. Erin G Says:

    haha this is so true!

  18. J R R Says:

    Wow you totally defined our problem….such a good way of putting things. My husband and I are very different -so finding a couple that we both enjoy has been very difficult!

    PS We like bbqs and board games – but live in TX and don’t drink wine 😦

  19. stacey Says:

    i have never heard anyone talk about this, but i think it and it is so true!

  20. skiplovey Says:

    Oh yeah this is so true. We don’t have a lot of friends with kids yet and it’s hard to keep up with the ones that don’t. My husband has very little in common with my mommy friend’s husbands. So as far as all getting together with the friends with kids, not so much.

    Good luck with the dating.

  21. adventuremom Says:

    This was a great post! You are so funny and cute too 🙂 I am having a hard enough time getting on my hubby’s dance card with his travels, urgh. But I do love couple date nights, they are so fun if you have the good combo.

  22. Krista Says:

    Thanks for the perfect analysis of what I feel!!!

  23. SAHMmy Says Says:

    Super post! We’re still maintaining long distance relationships with our favorite couples from our old city–haven’t even put feelers out for fresh meat in 2 1/2 years. We suck.


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