I spent a fair amount of time in the dating world before I met my hubby. Let me just be frank abou that. It stunk. And I don’t ever, ever want to go back. So imagine my delight when I discovered that once you get married you still have to date.
I am not talking about the marital advice to continue to “date” your spouse. That is fantastic advice and we try and do that a few times a month. No, that part is a cake walk. I am talking about the dating of other couples.
How hard can this be? You just want to find some other couples to hang out with. There are millions of couples running around so this should be easy. But the key is, all 4 people have to like each other. Do you know how many chances there are for this equation to go awry.
The hubby once had a good girl friend (not girlfriend, but friend who was a girl) who was dating this guy and we all went out for pizza. The hubby and his friend talked non stop while I was stuck talking to Mr. Personality. Actually he was Mr. Void of Personality. Seriously, this guy grunted one word answers the whole night and was about as fun as a root canal.
Then there have been the times where I have made great girlfriends and the hubbies get together and could not have less in common. The conversation stalls 2 minutes into the evening. Or even worse you hang out with people that you think you both like, but then when you try and go out on a “date” you find you really don’t like these people at all.
I just want to be clear to any of my friends reading this that you and your spouse are quite lovely people who we would love to hang out with anytime. In all seriousness, lately I have found that the biggest hurdle to dating couples is time. Everyone is busy with kids or life and suddenly hanging out with people who only live a suburb away is a big ordeal. Or maybe their dance card is full. They already have that “couple” to hang with and they are in a monogamous couple dating relationship.
We had a few of great couples back in Chicago. The ones you could call up at 5:30 and say “Come over for a last minute BBQ and bring the kids and a bottle of wine.” The ones you could vacation with and not worry about them seeing you in the morning with your stanky breath and crazy hair. The ones who you laugh so hard with over a game of Balderdash that soda comes out your nose.
Since we have moved to Michigan, we have met some great couples that we have really hit it off with. A few we have even thought briefly we could commit to. And then suddenly, they aren’t returning your phone calls right away. You sit by the phone and leave Friday night open, but nothing. Would it kill you to pick up a phone and call? I even shaved my legs!!
So anyway, the position is still open. Must like wine, a good BBQ, a lot of laughs and possibly even a board game or two. We are currently auditioning a few couples so get in on the dating scene while you can. I am ready to get off the market already.