The Diaper Diaries

but hopefully not full of crap

That’s an Odd Place to Keep Your Pickles June 22, 2008

Filed under: Quotes,Random Life Moments — thediaperdiaries @ 8:00 pm

   Remember this? Well, Miss Hannah has struck again. Yet, Lily keeps wanting to take baths with her. This time, I put them in the tub and then laid down outside the bathroom door with a delightful copy of Home magazine. I look up occasionally to make sure no one has drown and that most of the water is staying in the tub (no one had and it wasn’t).

Suddenly, Lily screams “Emergency!!” On a quick side note, she has been going to Safety Town for a week so we are experiencing an even larger flair for the dramatic. The two girls jump out of the tub. How Hannah managed to scale the edge, I have no idea, but it could be because she was 5 pounds lighter than she had been a few minutes before.

Lily somehow manages to emerge unscathed and begins breathlessly recalling how it all went down.

“Mom, Hannah and I were just playing and all of a sudden she just handed me a pickle…but then I realized it wasn’t a pickle and I jumped out.”

The hubby and I of course burst into laughter at the thought of Hannah somehow producing a Vlasic out of thin air while bathing. Lily catches onto the fact that she has somehow been funny and proceeds to repeat the pickle story over and over for the next 10 minutes. I shower off the kids in the other shower and the hubby (my knight in shining armor) is once again left with the fabulous task of fishing out the poo and cleaning out the tub. He is always there to get us out of a pickle 🙂


The Most Precious Of Times April 4, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood,Quotes — thediaperdiaries @ 10:19 pm

 Lily has been asking a lot of questions about heaven and angels lately. She has always loved angels, but lately, I think because of Easter, she has been asking a lot about what heaven is like. They are great conversations. Really scary, because I feel like  I must be so careful how I answer, wanting to get it right. But her little 4 year old brain amazes and challenges me in how it thinks of things and asks the tough questions. This was our conversation today.

Lily: Mommy, don’t ever leave me.

Me: Of course I won’t.

Lily: No, I mean when you go to heaven. Don’t leave me.

Me: Sweety, mommy isn’t going to heaven for a long time. Not until I am very old (I pray) and you are old and are a mommy yourself (I pray).

Lily: I know, but when you are old and you go, do you think I could wrap my arms around your neck really tight like this (and she demonstrates)? Do you think if I did, you could take me up there with you?

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but at that moment…I never wanted her to let go.


She Obviously Hasn’t Been Around a Nursing Woman March 29, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood,Quotes — thediaperdiaries @ 8:36 pm

airport.jpg I saw this story on the news last night and just felt the need to share it with the world (or the 3 of you who read my blog). As a cautionary tale if you will. I particularly love Gloria Allred’s (seriously this woman will take any and every “offended woman” case) quote at the end. How she said that with a straight face, I will never know.


Second Verse Same as the First March 24, 2008

Filed under: Family,Quotes — thediaperdiaries @ 9:11 pm

sick.jpg Hannah is sick again. She started acting weird yesterday afternoon and soon she was sporting flushed cheeks and a warm forehead. Then while the hubby and I were catching up on a DVR’d Survivor, we started to hear odd noises through the monitor (how did people parent before these things were invented?). By the time midnight rolled around her fever was 102 and she threw up. We changed sheets and clothes, gave her some Motrin and hoped for the best. Needless to say, it was a really long night.

And then today…was a really long day. There is something really sweet about having a sick kid. They get really cuddly and curl up with you on the couch and fall asleep on your chest. Then there is the not so sweet. The whining, the clinging, did I mention the whining. That bad thing about having a sick kid (besides the constant fear that you will catch whatever they have) is that your other kid gets totally neglected.

Lily spent the day watching too much TV, begging mommy to please play with her and trying to stay out my “way too short on sleep” path. At the end of the day, when the hubby got home to give me some relief, I pulled Lily over and snuggled her a bit (probably infecting her in the process).

“Mommy is really sorry I didn’t get to pay you much attention today.”

“That’s OK Mommy, I paid attention to myself.”


Brainwashing of the dangerous kind February 25, 2008

Filed under: Quotes — thediaperdiaries @ 10:04 pm

hockey-puck.jpg They say children’s minds are like sponges. Lily’s absorbs information at an alarming rate and she has the memory of an elephant (what the heck does that mean??).

So, today as I’m reading a news magazine, Lily comes over and looks over my shoulder. It was an article about how Obama and Clinton are in a tight race and had pictures of both candidates. She said to me, “Which one is running for President?” Ok, why she even knows this indicates we may be following politics a little too closely around here. Anyway, I told her both of them and asked her who she liked better. She pointed to Hillary and said, “I like her. Her outfit is pretty and I just really like the way God made her. But Daddy says she doesn’t have very good ideas.” So wise already at 4…

Then, every night when we put Lily to bed there comes a point where we tell her no more talking. More nights than not, this takes a few reminders (I have no idea where she gets this annoying trait of not knowing when to shut her mouth). But often times in these quiet moments, I get a little window into her soul when she says something in a whisper right before she falls asleep. Tonight, it was this:

Lily: “Mom, what would happen if all the hockey players on the ice got put in the penalty box all at one time and there was no one left on the ice to score? Could that really happen?”

Tonight her soul told me that the hubby’s brainwashing goes far beyond political (which honestly is just the healthy Republican kind) and has crossed over into the dangerous, threatening realm of hockey. Seriously, I can’t take it if I have one more hockey obsessed person in this house. The season is like 10 years long. So I have decided I will start brainwashing her my own way. You know in the movies when they brainwash people and they strap them to chairs and hold there eyelids open while they show them images. It will be like that, but with music and dancing. Oh yes, I will brainwash my daughter to love a good musical. She loves singing, she loves dancing…all the basic building blocks are there. So next time when the hubby asks her to watch a hockey game, she will look up at him with that face he can’t resist and say, “Daddy, can we please do West Side Story instead?”

Evil cackle followed by maniacal laughter.


This Moment Brought to you by al gore February 18, 2008

Filed under: Quotes — thediaperdiaries @ 9:50 pm

algore.jpg Lily: Mom, how do you make frosting?

Me: Well, you basically mix together milk, sugar and butter

Lily: Well, I want to make some frosting tomorrow

Me: Um, we’ll have to see, we have quite a busy day tomorrow (translation- No, I do not need more sugary crap around our house)

Lily: Mom, tonight while I sleep can you go to how to make frosting dot com ( and print out the directions for me.

Does this frighten anyone else?

*oddly enough someone in Utah appears to own the domain I suspect they are the parent of a 4 year old. In case you are curious, there is nothing at that website, least of all directions on how to make frosting.


I think that might be a B+ February 9, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood,Quotes — thediaperdiaries @ 8:15 pm

mops.jpg A conversation with Lily:

Lily: Mom, there is a kid in my Sunday school whose mom is our teacher

Me: Really, do you like that? Would you like me to be your teacher?

Lily: Yeah, how come you aren’t?

Me: Well because mommy leads worship when you are in Sunday school

Lily: Well what about the other day I have Sunday school (referring to Tuesdays when she is in childcare for MOPS).

Me: Well, mommy is in MOPS and that is important. That’s where I learn to be a better mommy. Do you think I am a good mommy?

Lily: Yeah, really good…pretty good…you should keep taking those classes.